Church Jokes  (Is that allowed?)

Have some fun with our church jokes, and yes, it's allowed.    After all, who says Christians can't have fun?  We hope you get a good laugh here and share one with someone else as well.  Be sure to bookmark this page and forward your favorite funnies from Spiritual Health Source to your friends.  Someone needs a laugh today!

A church had to hire a new pastor. Over the protests of one vocal male member a woman was hired as the new senior pastor. After the new pastor had been there a few weeks, a member of the congregation offered to take the new pastor fishing. The vocal objector reluctantly agreed to allow them to use his boat and to go along. The trio got into the boat and motored out on the lake. When they got ready to fish, they realized that all their tackle had been left on the dock. One of the men commented that they would just have to go back and get it. The new pastor said that wouldn't be necessary, and she got out of the boat and started walking across the water toward the dock. The old grouch said, "See I told you we never should have brought her fishing. She can't even swim!"

A young couple were on their way to get married when they were killed in a car accident. When they got to heaven they asked St. Peter if they could see God. St. Peter said " I think I can arrange that". The next day the couple received a call to come before the throne. The Lord asked them what they wanted to see him for. They said " We know this is heaven and we are glad to be here, but we would still like to get married". The Lord said " I'll have to get back to you on that" and dismissed them from the throne room. Ten years later the Lord calls them back to his throne room and asked if they still wanted to get married. They said with great excitement " Yes , we sure do". The Lord said " This preacher is going to marry you today". They got married and left happy. A few months later they asked to see the Lord again and said " We know this is heaven, but we can not get along and we want a divorce". The Lord said " Now look it took me ten years to get a preacher up here , if you think I'm going to get a lawyer up here your crazy". WE WANT YOUR CHURCH JOKES!

Church Jokes from Those Crazy Kids

Subject: Kid prayers

Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones you have now?
Jane

Dear God,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
Nan

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
Neil

Dear God,
Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Joyce

Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway
Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear God,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Bruce

Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
Denise

Dear God,
I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
Sam

Dear God,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
Ruth

Dear God,
I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
Elliott

Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world.
There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan

Dear God,
Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best.
Rob

Dear God,
My brother told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right.
They are just kidding, aren't they?
Marsha

Dear God,
If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.
Mickey

Dear God,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
Sincerely, Donna

Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
Charles

Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
Eugene

Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
Larry

Got any good church jokes?  Send them in!