Clean Christian Jokes

Have some fun with our clean Christian jokes.  Go ahead, Christians can have fun too.  Got jokes of your own?  Share them.  Raise your endorphins and someone else's too.  We could all use a good laugh!    One of my favorites: A preacher decided one Sunday to use a visual demonstration to add emphasis to his sermon about the bad habits of  drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and eating too much chocolate. To do this, he put four worms into four separate jars: The first worm went into a jar of alcohol, the second worm into a jar of cigarette smoke and the third worm into a jar of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. He preached his sermon and made his point.  Then, at the conclusion, the preacher reported the following results: The worm in the jar of alcohol was dead. The worm in the jar of cigarette smoke was dead. The worm in the the jar of chocolate syrup was dead. The worm in good clean soil - Alive. The preacher asked the congregation what they had learned from the demonstration? An old woman sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

Ah, those kids... A Third Grade teacher was telling her class about the different types of fish in the sea. One little girl, always ready to witness, shared the story about the whale that swallowed Jonah, then spit him out after 3 days. "That's impossible," said the teacher.  "No one can survive inside a whale for 3 days." "If you don't believe me," said the little girl, "That's ok.  When I get to heaven, I ask Jonah myself." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" "That's ok too, you can ask him,"  the child replied.

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More Clean Christian Jokes from Those Hilarious Kids

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"  One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.  "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.  With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mic, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.  After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."  "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.  Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"  "You're both old," he replied.
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A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.  Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.  Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:  "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail. Amen."
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One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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A little boy was overhead praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.

WE NEED YOUR CLEAN CHRISTIAN JOKES!