A Day of Insanity

Insanity was what I called it then, a spiritual manifestation is what I call it now. Excerpt from The Life Cycle: Someone Else's Insanity Just last night I saw a woman so racked with pain and anger that it showed in her face. I could almost see right through her skin and into what she felt and, to be honest, it was pretty frightening. I talked this over with a friend of mine, who explained to me that what I saw was the very same issues I used to be plagued with. Then I remembered something that shook me up a little.

Stop the Insanity If you keep absorbing negative information, you will keep producing negative results. Doing the same things over and over, expecting different results is insanity. Stop! Try something new for a change! Avoid a lifetime of insanity.

My Own Personal Insanity

You see, I spent a great deal of my life listening to ugly, negative things about myself. I was constantly reminded of my mistakes of the past, made fun of, called names and put down. Because of my own guilt and lack of faith, I did not know how to protect myself from this type of emotional attack. So, I fired back the insults left and right, thinking I was protecting myself. Actually, what I did was absorb all the negativity and create more guilt for myself.

After years of living this way, I began to physically break down, then mentally (or vice versa), but the physical symptoms came first. One really ugly night when the chase was on and insults where flying, I literally fought until I could fight no more, and then I crashed and burned. I ran from the attack into the bathroom downstairs, in my home. I was hyperventilating and basically falling apart. I looked in the mirror...someone else was looking back at me. This someone else was very frightening! I was absolutely terrified and again, ran into another room in the house.

Somehow, I was able to make it through the night. The next day, I phoned my doctor and went in for a "session." I actually saw fear in his face when I told him what had happened to me. He told me that I was lucky to be alive, and that I was separating myself from my pain. He said that if I did not get help, I could actually get "stuck" in that position and remain that way for life. He put me in the hospital and they gave me pills. For a long time, the pills masked the face. Now I know that what I actually saw was the negative garbage living inside of me. I saw the pain, anger, hatred and the evil that results from such, manifested right there in the mirror. That is what I saw again, this time on someone else's face.

Try to picture, if you dare, your inner being in the mirror. My point is that we desperately need to be "brain washed".  We need to learn new ways, new thoughts and new patterns. We need to forgive and forget and live in today.